the viewpoint

i can't believe a person can be this busy.

really.

i barely have time for anything else.

but i am not complaining. i'm actually loving the whole i'm-so-busy thing. it makes me feel fulfilled. like i'm not wasting time. :)

i don't know if this one's for real, or it's a scam. but hey, take a couple of minutes and earn some cash. considering that it's not worth any effort anyway (say, one survey takes you a couple of minutes and pay you $4), i guess it's worth a look. besides, sign up is free.

the downside, i guess, is that payments are made through paypal. and i think paypal doesn't allow withdrawals from our beloved country. but if you ever try this one out, i think you can use your paypal account to shop on the net or something. har.

just laugh at me if you think i'm crazy enough to consider these internet whatnots. har. but my concept of the internet has just reached new heights, mind you. i am actually making money from the internet right now, with my side job and all. so really, don't underestimate the internet.

:D

i'm back from a hiatus :)

well, actually, not really. i forgot my password. :( then i didn't have time to pay attention and create a new one. and...well, i only did that now. so here I am again.

i've been so busy lately. well, i guess i can say i'm still pretty busy now. i've been writing a lot, which is good, i guess. i hope my brain doesn't give up on me, 'cause hey, i think we make a great team. har.

anyway, i am loving my new job. :D and the little extras on the side that i also do. i am really enjoying them both. i never thought i'd be making a living through writing. i mean, it's always been something i loved doing, but i guess i never thought that it still mattered in this new world. turns out, it matters a lot, and i feel really blessed.

i have to admit, what i did, leaving my old job and all was a bit impulsive. i just wanted to get out of that phase in my life, because that phase was...stressful, tiring, draining, boring, and fact is, i wasn't happy anymore. so even if i had no gameplan, i went right on and quit. it never crossed my mind that i might find myself unemployed or something. i just knew it was time to leave. at first, i thought it was the job itself. but later on, i realized that i just don't like the business arena that much. i'd rather be writing. so here, i went all pocahontas-like, and "followed my heart". and look where my heart and God, of course, led me. i'm really happy now, and if people offered me a hundred dollars to go back to the way things used to be, no way. if it's a million, well, the money is tempting, but when i think about every single day that i have to spend in a life that i am not happy with, hmm...i don't think so. i think i'll pass.

i guess that shows how happy i am right now, huh? :D

i just read the first few chapters of harry potter 7 last night. it's the real thing. thanks to mam kristene for the copy. i'm not particularly as lucky as nats who'd be getting the hardbound copy, so i'm fine with the digital edition.

anyway, i've already been through 2 significant deaths. significant meaning those that actually means something to harry. i certainly wouldn't be counting the deaths of death eaters.

and oh, yeah.

twister fries is baaaaaack!

check this out!

Nats' winning entry for Powerbooks' harry potter muggle magic art contest. She won!!! She gets to buy "the" book!

Congrats Nats!!!!!!

I am now using my Gmail account instead of my Yahoo! For the following reasons:

1. It’s faster! Practically no loading time when opening messages!
2. I like the conversations thingy! Wherein your replies to the same email will appear in one message box only! It actually feels like chatting and your mail is more organized. (Although the google chat is a different feature, which yahoo has managed to come up with.)
3. The Yahoo! Mail Beta looks to me like an attempt to duplicate the finer things about Gmail that the old Yahoo! Did not have, and it was a failed attempt, if you ask me. I mean, it works and all, but I still encounter problems with it, like when there are images and stuff.
4. I think I’m starting to trust Google more. They also have the same applications anyway, like the Google Photos, Google Groups, Google Calendar, and Google Documents (which is a definite upgrade from Yahoo! Briefcase. It actually has a word processor and a spreadsheet online so you can create documents and databases! It’s like having an online MS Word and MS Excel.)
5. I like the stars thingy! HAHAHA!
6. It looks better!
7. The picture feature!! You can attach pictures of your contacts!
8. You can put different labels on your email. OC people will love this!
9. So far, LESS SPAM. ‘Nuff said.

And I am telling you this because…I highly recommend the switch. HAHAHA. May commissions ako from Google :) Right. HAR.

Here are a series of spoilers I’ve read so far. Of course I advise nobody to believe any of these things until you really read the book. 2 more days, people, so the waiting should be bearable enough.

As for me…I am not planning to buy a hardbound copy of the book. I will definitely buy the paperback version, but am going to have to find other ways to read the final book and end all these speculations.

Now, here are the spoilers that I think are worth saying something about.

1. Ron dies. – Please no, this is far too tragic. I think that if he dies, it would be hard to find the ending, whatever it is, a good one, Really.
2. Lupin dies. – This one is more acceptable. I mean, if you were able to accept Sirius’ death, why not Lupin’s? I mean, Sirius was a far more promising character and mentor to Harry than Lupin. Although I would also want his death to be somehow meaningful or told properly. There are also spoilers that he just gets killed all of a sudden and his body, along with Tonks’ are just found among other random dead bodies. Talk about such a waste of characters.
3. Snape is eventually revealed as a good guy. – I think I can expect this. It’s the biggest mystery in the series, and aside from the whole Voldemort vs. Harry being the focus of the Bad vs. Good in the story, the question whether Snape is good or bad is the perfect representation of how every person struggles between doing the right thing or the bad. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he turns out to be good, because this is, after all, meant to be a book that may be read by children.
4. Harry and Ginny names their kid “Albus Severus”. – I am especially crossing my fingers, even if they fall off, that this is not true. Come on. That must be fan fiction. Rowling can do better than that. And scratch “James” and “Lily” (then we’d have another “Baby James”, and no thanks, I think we have quite enough of that here in the Philippines). I mean, just lay off using the father or some other dead character’s name. That’s just too corny. Come up with an original name. Wizarding names are, after all, kind of cool.
5. Hermione and Ron end up together. – It would be a shame if they don’t. Come on, admit it. There’s so much romantic tension between those two from the beginning.
6. Headmaster Snape or Headmistress McGonagall? – McGonagall, definitely. Even if Snape turns out to be a hero after all, McGonagall deserves the position more. She’s been nothing but faithful, and a solitary and steady and reliable figure. Other than Dumbledore, it’s when McGonagall comes into a problematic scene that I sort of feel assured somehow that she’d know the right thing to do.
7. The last few words are uttered by Harry: “I won’t be going back.” – I think this would be an okay ending. It would somehow be both an ending and a beginning. He’s ending one chapter of his life, and of course, since he won’t be going back to wherever it is, he’s bound to be going somewhere. So, fitting, I guess.
8. The ending skipped to nineteen years later. – This one, they’re saying, is true. Anyway, my personal opinion is I wouldn’t want to read an ending that way. But if that’s the way it is, it would be okay. Kasi, wala naman akong choice eh. HAHA.

Anyway, there you go. But please, don’t go believing anything you read unless it’s the actual book already, okay? My friends and I have received e-mailed copies (pdf files) and they’re fake. I just hate fanfiction. They’re pathetic. Really.

The fifth movie, by the way, is good. In my standards, I guess. We’re all entitled to different opinions, but I think it was able to tell the story. The point was there, although there are a lot of parts that were left off and the book was far more gloomy and dark than the movie appeared to be. But it was justifiable. The best thing about it, I guess, was how it was able to tell the story clearly, that even if you’re not really a fan, you’d understand the story.

Okay. Back to work. My last few days of work. :)

 

“You’ve been so composed, but we both know there’s always something tearing you apart.”

It was this line, from Matchbox Twenty’s “You’ve Got Soul” that reduced me to tears the other night. I just felt like it spoke to me. Not just to me, but to what I’ve been going through for so long.

There are a lot of people expecting a whole lot of things from me. I’ve been trying, really, and have been successful so far. The worst part is sometimes, they don’t seem to see it. See the things that I’m doing for them, the things that I freely give them, even sacrificing the things I would otherwise give to myself. I’m tired of taking care of other people, of all the little things to make their lives so much easier. There are responsibilities, and the people expecting them are stronger, aggressive people. And here I am, driven by my fear of disappointing people, keeps right on doing it, with my weak personality and is never able to say “no” and their strength just keeps feeding on my weakness.

See, I feel like I’ve just been getting by. And I don’t want to just get by. I wanna be happy, and if I have to change a lot of things in my life right now to find what I’m looking for, then so be it.

I’ve buckled under the pressure. After all these years, I finally felt the need to run away from the things that are holding me down. I’ve always guessed this time would come, and it’s better to get it out of the way NOW, before I am given more and bigger opportunities that I would be forced to waste.

So anyway, here’s an apology to everybody who I’ve inconvenienced. As cliché as it may sounds, I will try and find myself. I’m losing my focus. I need some time, and no matter how many people may tell me what a waste it is, and how wrong my decision is, I am giving myself the time.

I’m sure we’re all looking forward to the opening of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, but I’m even more excited for the release of the seventh and final book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

But that doesn’t mean I’m gonna rush to the bookstore or anything. I’ve never bought a Harry Potter book in my life. I have them all on e-books. So I’m starting to wonder if I’ll be able to score an e-book of the seventh book. But, if all hell breaks loose, I think it’d be a worthy buy.

Scholastic, the American publisher of the books even came out with a multimillion dollar campaign entitled “There will soon be 7”, as if the seventh book needed any marketing at all. The slightest rumor about it goes flying across continents, what with the huge speculations whether Harry will die or not. Personally, I don’t want him to die. I mean, what would that ultimately leave readers with, right? After all those adventures, I just think that Harry is one character that, from the very start, was built to triumph and not die. The character and personality building, the changes he went through, are all leading up to something. But whether he dies or not, the biggest question, for me, is whether the ending would give justice to the phenomenon that Harry Potter has been for so many years. The ending is going to make or break the final view of the readers regarding the series.

I am especially apprehensive about this, especially with the sixth book coming out the way it did. I think J.K.R. has let her guard down with the sixth book, and since the sixth and seventh books are described by Rowling herself to be “almost as though they are two halves of the same novel”, well… Anyway, she may have been looking forward to the seventh book, or maybe exhausted by the darkness of the 5^th book, but I just remember being dissatisfied with the Half Blood Prince. The only reason she got away with it was because of the excitement for the final book. So this is her chance to redeem Harry Potter, and I know she can give us a splashing ending.  

A little trivia I read from somewhere: She finished the final book in a hotel somewhere in Edinburgh and she actually left a signed statement somewhere in the room where she stayed that said, “"JK Rowling finished writing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in this room (652) on 11 January 2007." Now THAT is a tourist spot worth seeing. :)

As for the movie, I am excited, though I’m not really psyched up to see Sirius Black actually die. In front of my eyes. That would be, what? A traumatic experience, really.

HAHA. OA.

It’s too stupid, it’s funny.

It’s been my little morning tradition every time I get to the office to read Yahoo! News. It’s like getting my morning newspaper fix. And this morning, along with news about The Transformers and Criss Angel, I found that they actually sold the dog food can of Paris Hilton’s dog for $305 at an auction.

It led me to this website: http://www.hollywoodstartrash.com/

Come on. They actually go through the girl’s trash?

Anyway, here are some of the stuff they found. I only chose those that I found amusing, intriguing, or weird that they actually even spent any energy on those things:

1. Polaroid of Nicky Hilton - Cut out
2. Floss – Used
3. Guess box - Empty
4. Chanel box
5. Birth control packet – Empty
6. Rainbow belt with $88.00 price tag still attached - Size XS
7. 2 Toothbrushes - One pink and one Green
8. One short platinum blond hair extension - With clip
9. Can of organic gourmet dog food - Empty
10. Plane ticket stub for Hawaii - Under Paris Hilton's name
11. Receipt for $6,106.17 for Lisa Kline
12. Facial cotton pads - Smeared with make-up
13. Q-Tips - Smeared with make-up
14. 51 Empty DVD cases - Included are: 2 Kim Kardashian Celebrity Sex Tape Scandal and Paris' own Bottoms Up
15. 4 Long platinum blonde hair extensions
16. Photocopy of In Touch magazine dated 10/3/05 about Stavros and Mary-Kate Olsen - Date circled in pen
17. Aromatherapy Hangover Remedy scent inhaler packet - Open/Empty

Check out the site. They have the actual pics.

Let’s just put it this way. The only reason Wendy got in the Big Four is only because she deserved the louder boo. It’s a shame nobody threw anything at her face, but that would be stooping to an all-time “ala-Wendy” low. And now, it’s time to close this chapter because I don’t want to give her any more satisfaction by providing her with free publicity.

So there was this incident at Prince David’s elevators the other day. Kisses and I were going to lunch and the elevator stopped at some floor on its way to the ground. This guy walked in, then just as the doors were about to close, this little girl, barefoot and crying, came running towards the elevator and almost turned into mush. (Okay, exaggerating a little here, ‘cause elevator doors automatically re-opens when someone stops it with anything, even a teeny little girl). So, anyway, of course, I, with memories of some morbid elevator scene from Final Destination, practically jumped to press the “Open” button. The guy, probably the brother or something, just scooped up the little girl and decided to bring her with him. The elevator doors were just about to close again when we saw this naughty little boy in a small toy-type bicycle, came wheeling towards the elevator and inserted a thin hand between the doors as it closed. My sensitive, sensitive heart just couldn’t take it anymore. I really have this fear of elevators. I don’t care if it automatically re-opens. I just keep imagining scenarios, really. And what if the elevator doors weren’t able to sense the small, thin hands of the little rascal, huh? And the worst part is, he backed off when the doors re-opened, then when the doors were about to close, he did it again! I was just so pissed because the entire scene was already freaking me out, that I just yelled, “Nagmamadali kami!” The naughty kid, along with another girl of about eleven who was playing with him and laughing at what he was doing, and along with the brother who was standing in the elevator with us, clamped up and finally, the elevator doors closed, with no further interruptions, and I felt guilty for blowing up like that. The kid was just really irritating. He was laughing mischievously the whole time, too. Those evil, laughing eyes. As if the elevator was a harmless toy.

Okay, I know it’s probably really harmless. But it’s one of the things that I am weirdly scared of.

I also get scared when electric fans start making weird noises. I keep imagining it exploding and flying towards me and slicing me open. HAHA.  

So there. I just realized how weird I really am. :)

Reya’s despedida/birthday party was held at the boardroom today. Sob. Reya’s my closest friend here at the office. She’s the first friend I met here. I got in around two weeks after her and became close. I can’t believe that it’s actually been a year since we both started out here and became friends. She has been my lunchmate and best friend here, and it’s gonna be hard without her around. In the morning, every time I sat down to work, it was a comfort knowing that Reya was just an IP message away. On the other hand, I’m glad for her because I know that she’s moving on to another opportunity that might be better for her. But I’m gonna miss her, and her hirits and her follow-after-me’s. She has this crazy thing for unintentionally repeating what we say, it’s really funny when you’re actually there. She’s also really workaholic, and captures the essence of being committed to the job. I can’t believe they’re letting her go. It’s kinda unfair, too, the way it all came down. Either that, or I’m just really sad and bitter that I won’t be seeing her regularly anymore. :(

Wendy has got to be the worst housemate in the history of Pinoy Big Brother. Who wouldn’t be disappointed with ABS-CBN for letting her stay, and allowing her to get back inside after getting evicted? I mean, with that attitude? I think that there really is something fishy going on back there. This girl is pulling some ropes. It’s so obvious. And if ABS-CBN is really honest that they’re not rigging the voting, well, maybe they should start doing so. Why would they start being honest and democratic NOW, after they’d already pulled some gimmicks just to get her back on the show because the ratings dropped. Besides, I don’t think the network will just let the show go on with absolutely no control over it, especially since the people are already starting to get really pissed. They’d have to be concerned about the people’s opinions too. It’s either they believe that bad publicity is still publicity, or the girl is sleeping with someone from within.

Poor Bruce. Poor stupid Bruce. How can you have a really masculine name like Bruce just to play doggy to a spoiled brat? And you came from U.P.? By george, grow yourself a spine.

So maybe she bought some viewers during the first part of her stay. I used to like her, too. But I think that she’s the kind of girl who lets the popularity get to her head. When she got back inside, her attitude just changed dramatically, maybe after seeing how the fans are all over her. The big bosses or the minds behind the PBB phenomenon should start doing something about it because Wendy may just be their biggest blunder ever. I don’t care if someone from within is backing her up, which is all too likely.

And I am so sorry for the university who proudly announced itself to the entire country to be Wendy’s school. Is that what you teach your students, that kind of lowly prima donna/palengkera attitude? I mean, come on, you can be true to yourself without hurting other people. Besides, if she really is just being true to herself, are we so sure that we want the next big winner to be that kind of girl? Where’d she grow up, anyway? In the woods or something, with the wolves and the hyenas and the coyotes?

I’m not really a PBB addict, but recent events have snatched my attention, and my sister’s always in a mad rage about that Wendy girl. I hate it when other people are upstaging and acting out and everything. The way she treated those two other girls who were being unbelievable civil about things was just was way over the biatch limit that I can take. Not to mention that she was really mean about that whole “cook your own dinner” thing with Beatriz, who just happened to be a relative of a relative. The niece-in-law of my half-cousin, or something really vague like that (I happen to have a complicated family tree). She was picking on girls she knew wouldn’t fight her, wouldn’t stand up to her. And she loved picking on Gee-Ann because the girl was weaker. It’s a power play. The wicked witch and her two hounds, Bruce and Nel. Irritating, really.

These are just my opinions, people. If you can’t relate, start watching. Maybe you’ll still catch some of her Bitchepisodes before the Big Night. :) 

Liz Claiborne passed away.

Paris Hilton talks to Larry King about her traumatic experience.

And my horoscope tells me:

Follow the 'KISS' rule today and 'keep it simple, silly'! Avoid complicating things.

I should really follow that rule. Most of the time, I feel like I complicate my own life a lot. Like trying to quit my job. Trying, and, as of this moment, not really succeeding at it. I could just say “no”, right? I could just leave it all behind and move on, look for other, bigger opportunities. That’s the simple way, and not to mention, the practical way. The complicated way, which I went for, was to feel all this guilt for leaving my present company halfway through a project (or projects, for that matter), and allow them to convince me to extend my stay. And now, I think I just made up all those complications with the resignation letter and the conversations with my bosses, only to end up with the exact same results: me working here, at the same old place, and everything (I do mean, everything) is the same.

Honestly, I have made up my mind. Right now, it’s just a matter of timing. I know that the time for me to move on has come. I feel that I am now ready and overly curious what the world still holds for me. I did get this job fresh from college. I’m just waiting for the right time, or maybe the right opportunity to come along. But the clock is ticking. I can’t stand still anymore, and that’s how I knew. I became curious and I wanted more. Sounds pretty gluttonous, huh. :)

Oh well. I’ve never really been good at expressing what I feel. It’s always been hard for me to say “no”, except when something’s really, really pushing me. I’ve always, always needed that extra push when it comes to making major decisions in my life.

Anyway, for now, I just say: “I’m keeping my door, doors to all possible opportunities, open.”

But I think that’s just a glorified excuse for being lost.

The biggest mistake I ever committed? Not taking up creative writing in college.

So wendy’s still in the clear, huh? I don’t really watch PBB anymore. I go to sleep way before it even starts. My sister just fills me in. But I know enough to be enraged (uh…not really…) that she’s still in there. Spare me the attitude. When she gets out, she’s just gonna be a sexy starlet (definitely not a star) or something anyway, so I don’t think we should waste the precious Big Winner trophy on her. And what the heck is that thing with her and Bruce? I mean, that should be right about the worst love team in PBB history. They were always fighting! I used to hate the Bianca-Zanjoe team up because it was pure infidelity (on Bianca’s part. We, my sisters and I, sort of have an unspoken loyalty to Direk Lino, for some unknown reason, except that he’s way better looking and has way better breeding). But for Bruce and Wendy, not only is it also pure infidelity (for both of them, I think), it was also full of angst. HAR.

On to personal issues, I had to drag myself to work again today. I think that once the poison seeped through, it was hard to motivate myself again. I think that it really is time for me to move on to other things. There’s some sort of craziness and recklessness in quitting my job that I kinda like. Of course, I’m gonna have to find another job soon, and I’m already looking at some options. I haven’t fully started on the job hunting because I’m planning to take maybe just a two-week vacation and I’m still not sure up to when I’ll be here. They’re asking me to rethink my decision, but I guess when I make up my mind, it’s pretty much made up.  

June 25, 2007

Dear Sir/Ma’am:

I would like to tender my resignation effective June 30, 2007.

TFI has been a wonderful opportunity for me. However, after more than a year, I now feel that it is time for me to move on to other opportunities and interests. I do not feel the same commitment and passion for the job, and sometimes, I feel that what I am receiving is not worth all the effort anymore. I have come to realize that there are still other things and desires that I want to pursue, and that there may be better opportunities out there that I have yet to explore. Continuing at TFI would keep me from pursuing these things, and they would always be there to hinder my full commitment to the company.

As TFI goes on, I hope for it nothing but the best. I also hope that any issues that the company may have will be resolved. I hope that TFI will grow on the values of fairer treatment of employees, regular or contractual, fairer provision of incentives, a balance between the workload and the compensation, and a focus in the work that are assigned. I hope that these will help the company grow more.

I believe that TFI will go far, and I can imagine myself, standing in front of a bigger TFI, and telling people that I was there when it was all just starting. I know that I could be a part of it as it continues to grow, but my personal desires are pointing me now to a different direction.

Thank you for a great learning experience. May you continue to provide exactly that to all the people that you are yet to touch.

Sincerely,

Nestle Joy Sia

 

I hate it when parents brag about intelligent children based on their grades. The educational environment is far too limited to be a reliable basis. “Matalino” means “intelligent”, right? So folks, stop saying that your child is matalino because, news flash, he may not be. Just say, he’s doing well in school or something.

Here are a few definitions of the word “intelligence” I found:

1. The ability to comprehend; to understand and profit from experience
2. Intelligence is a general mental capability that involves the ability to reason, plan, solve problems, think abstractly, comprehend ideas and language, and learn.
3. The ability of an individual to understand and cope with the environment
4. The ability to solve problems and create outputs

See anything about school grades there?? NADA. So I think parents should stop and reassess before obtaining bragging rights. Of course, really, genuinely intelligent students are inclined to do well in school because of their intelligence. Intelligence is not the fruit or effect of exemplary school performance. It is the other way around. So doing well in school does not necessarily mean that the child is intelligent.

In definition number 2, we see that learning is just one of the many abilities that intelligence involves. And it also happens to come last, for a reason, I think. We also find the words “experience” and “environment” in the definitions. All I’m saying is, the world is so much bigger than just the school.

SO STOP THE BRAGGING! --> that’s actually all I want to say. :)

So we just started watching House M.D. on DVD the other day. I’ve heard about it from my sister a long time ago and have always planned to watch it, but it got buried in my long list of to-watch (and to-buy) DVDs. Finally, someone gave me the complete seasons 1 and 2, and heck, it’s there, why not watch it? I knew it was supposed to be good because my sister gave me a clue of what it was about, and I was excited to be finally acquainted with Dr. House’s famous eccentricity.

And that was what we found. A really, really eccentric doctor, whose dry humor and witty sarcasm is absolutely entertaining. The first few episodes would get you on the edge of your seats, but of course, all the newness dries out and you start to realize that the plotline of every episode is exactly the same. I guess you can expect this from a TV series. I mean, the same is almost also true for Smallville. Different villains, different problems, same hero, different solution, same plotline. But it’s entertaining, nonetheless. And the science trivia are definitely a good bonus. Made me really scrub the dishes hard ‘cause something might be left behind to poison me. HAR.

But I know the series would also find its high points again. Not that it’ll ever really plummet, not with Dr. House’s character. But there are some underlying stories that are yet to be uncovered. And then there’s the whole story about Dr. House’s past. So there’s more to watch out for.

And I love the sarcasm. Reminds me of the reason why I also loved Garfield.

Then Garfield reminds me of how much I hate Snoopy and how Felix the Cat scares me.

Okay, time to start working, because I am in a place called an office, ergo, a workplace.

         More than once, I opened my eyes to see you crying and I reached out to wipe your tears. More than once, I held you as you broke, your heart openly shattering as I tried in vain to hold you together. More than once, I thought you had died in my arms, and I never forgot when you asked me once to hold you as tight as I could and crush you in my arms, so that you would die a blissful death. To you, death was a blessing as compared to the life you lived.

          On several mornings beyond my count, I woke up with your breath on my cheek, your sobs mixing in with my dreams. I would hold you again, as you asked me to keep you steady because you were about to fall. I would listen to you as you describe, in between tears, how your world was, once again, wobbling on its axis. And when it started to quiver violently, and you started to fall, I would make it my life’s mission to make sure it hurt the least when you touch the ground. Then I would push you back up, and wait for your return.

          You never came to me with a smile. It was a shame; your smile was the only thing I wanted to ask in return for everything I was doing for you. I tried my best to suppress what I felt. I succeeded in keeping the pain in every time you got up and start to leave. It was all about understanding you, and that was one of the best things I did, even according to you. I was the only one who really understood you, and I always felt the need to protect you. Or to explain you.

more >>

* i just finished this story last saturday. finally, i was able to finish something. i've been starting countless stories and never finishing them, partly because of the lack of time, and partly because i'm lazy. :)